I am sentimental. Family says I’m too much so. I’m not sure I agree but I do think it can be easy to be capable of attaching too much sentimental memories to objects that take you back in time and allow you to relive the memory or event. For me it’s typically a sweet memory or time that something good happened in my life and some random object came into my life as a result of the event. Some people take pictures, some collect objects and some do both. For example, I have party beads from a friend and I haven’t spoken to her in at least a year and I even question if they really are my friend anymore anyway. BUT, handling those beads when I stumble across them in my collection of “memories” reminds me of when we were friends and spent time hanging out together. It triggers happy thoughts if even for just a split second. I have another couple of party bead sets from Las Vegas that I picked up when I went there for an event and while another friend didn’t have a direct part in my acquiring those goofy beads, she did help me arrange my tickets to get there and back and those beads trigger happy thoughts of when we used to be friends before we fell out of contact. It’s not about the objects but rather, it’s the memories. It’s having an ability to connect objects to memories that were important at some point in my life. The beads are just an example of of objects that have had important meanings attached to them. The idea of throwing away the object is easy, it’s the idea that once that object is gone, the trigger for the good memories goes with it if I don’t have it to remind me anymore. With the connections that are created between object and the good memory, it becomes painful to throw away what essentially is a good memory for no other reason than it’s taking up space. Throwing away some meaningless object is like throwing away a good memory when it’s got one attached to it. This is probably not as uncommon as one might think. How to let go?…that’s the big question.
Today is my last day at work for the year. We are granted a couple of nice holidays off and I am enjoying them. It’s a beautiful day today and the sun is beaming. The lack of clouds this wintry day means it’s also quite chilly. I see steam coming off of one the local business rooftops along with the reflection of the sun. When you can see that much steam, it’s usually a sign that it’s quite cold out there. It’s the last workday for many and tomorrow is New Year’s eve. For me, this is a time for pause and recollection of what this life has been in the last year and to think about the changes both good and bad. Make some adjustments and keep moving along.
This year marks just over a full year of living in a new home. It’s been trying at times to figure out what is really needed and what I need to let go of. In the early writings here, I had written a lot about getting out of debt and the freedoms that way of living brings. These days its probably going to have more of a focus on shedding the trappings that this life often tricks us into carrying with us when we really don’t need them.
When I started writing, I knew that I was in for some personal growth and maturing. I had no idea just what that really meant and I’m sure there’s plenty more to learn. Sometimes, I forget where I started and how far I think I have come. That’s where this blog comes in. Someday, when I’m old and gray this site will fade, the links to it will become invalid and the memory of who I was on this planet will vaporize. However, while I’m still here, I can look back from time to time and also share what I’ve learned in order to help someone else who may be able to get something useful out of my ramblings here. I can at least offer that.
The end of an era really is about having found a new direction now that will be my next focus rather than ending the last point of focus. Now I am considering what it will take to become free of the junk that I have collected over the years both willingly and unwillingly then I can allow the useful and good things percolate to the surface. It’s about letting go of the things that I have stockpiled over the years that have no meaning, saved because…
I wrote about becoming debt free now I want to write about and become junk free.
Thank you for reading
-C
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 870 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 15 trips to carry that many people.
Been seeing a recent bit of Facebook noise on tolls in the Seattle area. Seems the jackasses in Olympia are bent on charging commuters for using a road that has already been paid for with tax dollars. The idea is that if they can open up a lane or two for commuters to use by charging them a hiked toll rate, they have done some magical thing that addresses the cramped road problems in Western Washington. Somehow it alleviates the congestion of traffic by making the toll road appear to be opened and clear with the exception of a few stray patrons. There’s also talk of charging a tax per mile driven. We have some of the highest fuel taxes and sales taxes in the nation and these jerks can’t figure out how to use that money correctly and now they want more. It’s like they are completely disconnected from Joe public and have no interest in actually helping the situation. Instead they apply bad policy and flawed logic to an already defective system and then want to be re-elected for doing “something”.
I think that sometimes, it’s better to leave a defective system alone until you have properly analyzed it and HAVE A METHOD OF FALLBACK and proper miles stones to identify its success or failure. It’s as if they come up with some crap to try and wouldn’t admit it could be failing, even at gunpoint. They have this idea that they can tax their way into successful management strategies. These tolls are are more of penalty for using the road and ruining the perfect fallacy of more open roads that are magically now available when they somehow weren’t before.
The problem is that a majority of Washington voters are waterlogged-brained Sheep. They vote democrat no matter what because they are told too and it’s easy. They appear to ignore the real issues that are before the publicly voted into office officials. They don’t want real accountability from anyone and the parties that keep getting voted into office are playing the tune that this voting majority thinks they want to hear. I have learned that every condition can reach a point where you must decide if you want to accept the situation, fight it, or leave it.
I’ve tried for many years to accept it and it’s now getting too expensive to accept the situation with having to get from point “A” to “B” for work. The costs of commuting can now eat into living costs to a degree that it’s almost not worth living there anymore. Moving closer to work is even worse than living at a distance and commuting to work isn’t much better because housing prices are out of control. I know people even turn down jobs just because it would mean they would have to pay the tolls to get to work or sit in traffic for long hours every day. When will this stop or are we doomed to let this kind of taxation destroy us? Is it really worth living in a place that appears to be aggressively driving it’s citizens out of the state with ridiculous do nothing taxes?
It’s been a while now since we have had warm dry weather. Leaving home to go to work and coming home in the dark and rain is getting to be a bit much. Until recently, sleeping the early evening away felt like a reasonable option when I didn’t have a plan. Who really wants to be tromping around outside in the cold and wet weather anyway? Not me.
I did buy a house with a decent sized shop that still needs my attention to get it organized and cleaned up though. The idea was to be able to dodge the rain and stay warm in the winter when working on projects in that shop. I was just too tired and the darkness was wearing me down…or so I thought. Recently, I had the good fortune to sleep on a really nice hotel bed while on a short vacation. It was 4 nights of some of the best sleep I have had in months. While on this trip, I took a picture of the mattress label and when I came home I took that photo with me and was able to match it to a mattress I could buy locally. I have that same comfortable bed in my house now and I am getting some of the best rest ever. Turns out that buying that mattress was one of the best things I could do. I am getting a more restful sleep than I have in a very long time and I am starting to feel like I have more energy.
Don’t neglect some of the small things that seem simple and have no value because they can affect the more obvious important things in your life.
Today is November 30, 2015
It’s been almost three years since I took on a life changing role in the Middle East.
Seems like it was just yesterday that I made contact with a good friend who was already there.
That’s been over three years now. At that time I was in debt and knew nothing about being free of that prison of debt. I had been working jobs with that fear of “what if….?” What if I loose this job and I cannot pay my bills? It’s a scary place to be in life. What’s odd is that when I was living that way, I didn’t understand just how dangerous that lifestyle really is. I know now though.
In just a few months, I will have only one house payment. I have been working on a car payment that was a really a big mistake to take on but I only realized it after the deed had been done. It’s been the one debt that I have carried since the beginning but is almost gone. It’s final payment will be the next to last victory with only the house left.
The house payment is the Moby Dick of bills but I need a place to live and if you are going fishing for Moby Dick, the advise is to take along the tarter sauce. I’m taking the tarter sauce and I will land the monster.
This is the biggest bill to date but it’s the one that remains as the final goal towards complete debt freedom. After that, there’s no more installments to be made, no easy payments and no need to borrow what I don’t have. It’s the last and final bill with it’s last payment will be the end of an era of being owned by any lender.
Time is money. Ever hear that? It’s true. You can buy services to meet a need that take someone else’s time to complete or if you are skilled enough or want to learn how, you can spend your own time servicing the need. Either way, time and money are interchangeable. The difference is how much value you can honestly place on your own time.
If I need something done and I am not skilled at doing it, I have to research and learn how and it will cost my time. How much depends on the complexity of the service required. If I hire someone who has the skill to perform the service, it will cost money. How much of it depends on the complexity of the service required and how much time it takes.
Time a commodity we are all given but we do not know exactly how much in total we get. What we do with it and how we manage it is entirely our choice.
Free time? What about free money? Now are they interchangeable? Not in that view but time really isn’t free anyway. The clock ticks every second and every second counts. Again, it’s what we do with it.
For example, I have been considering a home repair that I am not sure I can accomplish in a time effective manner, meaning that I will spend a lot more time doing that repair than hiring someone who has the skills to complete the job in an more efficient manner. Does that mean I am not capable of doing the job and should I consider myself less valuable because I don’t have the skills to do a home repair? Not really, as I have other skills that a home repair serviceman might not have and someday I might find them contacting me for my skills and services.
Sometimes it’s going to be more effective to spend the money to get something done rather than attempting to do it yourself because time is interchangeable with money and how you manage and invest it will determine your overall portfolio. I’d like to spend time with people I care about and spend money on something that will free me up to do just that.
Sometimes you have less money than is required to purchase the service and you don’t have the skill or time to meet the need. This is a problem when the need doesn’t go away. This is where people get trapped in borrowing against their future. The better question at that point is weather you can wait for the need to be met at a future date when enough money has been saved to buy the repair service, do you attempt to spend your time learning the craft to do the repair yourself or blend a mix of both? A blend could be spending your time doing what you know you can do and paying for the remainder of the service after you have done what you can. This is a viable option. Alternatively, can you abandon the entire situation without hurting your time/money portfolio?
Time really is money and how it’s spent is important.
Goal complete, the firewood is stacked and seasoned. Leaves are falling and the cedars have begun to drop some of their greenery and it covers the ground in a latticework of light brown against the darkened earth that has otherwise been stripped of the brambles and brush this summer in preparation for the springtime and green grass next year. Winter is just around the corner and the preparations for it are paying off.
I find that with a busy schedule outside of the home, I try to set a goal of doing one thing each day with the time I have at home. It doesn’t mean that the thing has to be a big thing, just something. Everyday, I make it a point to complete some thing that I set out to do and once it’s complete, I savor the moment, even if it’s just for a minute. Lately, it’s been goals of “house tuning” you might say. Opening a particular box from a move that hasn’t been gone through yet and sorting out what’s inside or repairing something around the house or fixing equipment used to maintain the house and yard. Sometimes it’s a simple matter of gathering a load of who knows what to give away or dispose of.
This year was busy with a really big move and sale of a house and all the activities that come with finalizing the sale of said house. It’s one thing to move as a college student or young person with few possessions but to have amassed a lifetime of trappings that you must move and sort, well that’s a different story.
It felt like the goal of prepping the house, moving, selling the house and meeting needs at the new house was never going to end and there were a few times that I just wanted to walk away from all of it. The problem was that the poorly defined goal was one big massive list that just kept getting added to. In the business world they call it “Scope Creep” and it means that the Scope of Work spreads out beyond the original plan. In my case the goal or scope of work had never really been clearly defined and it kept growing with no end in sight. That kind of situation can lead to stress because you loose focus without a clear goal. That’s when you want walk away, unsuccessful and feeling defeated.
At some point, there was a realization that a lot of goals had been reached and few had been recognized and even less had been celebrated. It was at that time when I understood that many small defined and accomplished goals are better than one giant ball of undefined murkiness that has no apparent end. It was at that time when getting one thing completed at a time as had already been happening but also savoring the victory no matter how small, came into play. Since that time it’s been far easier look back and see the accomplishments and recognize just how much has been done.
Break your goals down into sizable portions, recognize completions and celebrate that victory…repeat.
It’s been a long time since I have had to strategize about paying bills. I have been nearly debt free for a while now and I can tell you that life is in fact, different. You don’t lose sleep thinking about that next payment you must make and in general, life is simpler without debt. Surprisingly, I have a little more time for other things now.
The next big ongoing push for improvement has been to make life easier by minimizing the amount of material goods I do not want waste my time managing anymore. I find that a mountain of collected unused crap takes up space, personal energy and time managing said crap.
It’s not to say a completely empty life is best, but focusing on the basics of what you really need can really be the next step in being free.
For a moment in time, I am able to transport myself back to a place I never thought I’d be. The year was 2012 and the place was Kuwait. I really didn’t understand at the time just how much my life was going to be changed. I do recall writing that I expected it would be different both upon leaving home, living there and then returning. I just didn’t know to what extent.
I saw a world where lavish lifestyles were contrasted by poverty and oppression. I lived with minimal material goods and clothing and found it was liberating. The need to manage all the trappings of life were erased and I had a chance to start over in a sense. I had only to be on time to work and keep myself fed, clean, clothed and out of trouble. The adventure overseas lasted just over a year and the adventure hasn’t stopped since I have come home. It’s now 2015. Two and a half years later. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I’ve learned that having material goods at the expense of spending your life working to pay them off is one of the worst possible ways to exist in this life. Notice, I didn’t say live but rather, exist. I discovered that for that year of being unable to understand the language and consequently, unable to be bombarded with messages that tell me I need to buy things that I really didn’t, I had found peace in living a more simplified life.
While it’s common knowledge that life is more enjoyed when it’s about quality rather than quantity, it’s still a challenging balance to achieve with so many outside influences to the contrary. Flash back to living in a place where that message simply didn’t exist for me. Kuwait.
That year of just living as simple as possible with almost nothing but necessities was the best experience for learning about what’s really important. I quickly discovered just how much the trappings of life can become so overwhelming. That happened when I moved this year. I didn’t realize just how much needless crap one can accumulate in such a short time.
These days, I have been spending time cleaning out the junk that I have been lugging around and finding that I don’t miss it once I have gotten rid of it. Soon I will have room to enjoy the good stuff and I will forget the needless trappings long since disposed of.
Just know that if I could impart anything on the readers, it’s this. We are marketed to, told we need things we cannot afford. We are told it’s something we can have with just ten easy payments and then we have to work to buy that thing that we will eventually wonder why we ever bought it in most cases. We must go to work to pay it off and somehow, we think we are free. Freedom doesn’t have to come in the form of having nothing but more in considering carefully what and who you bring into your life. Be it people or material possessions.
Here’s to future nights of barbecuing on the deck with good friends, a fire in the pit and a glass of well aged scotch or good wine enjoyed in the summer evening air.
Rowland Ramble - 