Social Awkwardness (Retarded):
Many Northwesterners are socially awkward (Retarded) and don’t seem to know how to interact cordially with one another and this blog looks into some of that behavior.
I have posted a little something on this subject before and there are countless other write-ups on the subject but few come from within from people that have spent as long as I have there. I have been in the Pacific Northwest for just over 20 years so I think I know what I am talking about and the typical excuses of why I “just haven’t been here long enough to understand how it is here kind of excuses” won’t work on me. Sorry.
Many write-ups are from people who moved here and couldn’t wait to, as they put it, “Get the hell out of that place”. I couldn’t quite see what the fuss was about for the longest time but I always thought it was quite strange that people from a place that prides itself on being so educated “better” has such a lowbrow way of interacting with each other and newcomers.
I expect that what I post here will not apply to all people reading it but I hope it hits a nerve or two of those living in the northwest that call themselves natives and it causes you to think about how you treat others.
First and foremost, this isn’t a post based on some personal interaction with someone(s) and it’s not a sideways approach to slamming someone indirectly as many North-westerners are known for. If I don’t like you or what you are doing, I will tell you to your face or if I cannot do that, I will do it in an alternate yet direct and hopefully, tactful manner. When it’s over, I will consider it resolved and hope to maintain the friendship if possible, if not, I will not keep you around so I can have someone to ridicule behind your back for my own personal satisfaction. While some just don’t have the stomach for it, I think that the straightforward approach is best when having to deal with an issue. It doesn’t mean that I run around spouting off to everyone that I see doing things I don’t agree with but if we are close or perceived as close friends I think would think that a little more than simply ignoring me would be appropriate. Again, this isn’t a personal situation but hypothetical speak.
Let’s look at a few things and see if it makes sense.
TWO FACED:
If you have been friends with someone for any length of time and you no longer wish to be be friends with them that’s too bad but OK. It’s not a crime to end a friendship by stopping communication with someone and maybe even telling them you don’t want to continue the friendship but it’s not going to be the end of world if you do. Don’t be afraid to have the courtesy to just let them know. If it’s too hard to do that, just cease ALL acts of friendship with them and don’t act as if nothing is wrong when you happen to be in their presence. This is where Pacific North-westerners fail. They decide that a friendship isn’t worth continuing for some reason but they don’t let the other party know this and they continue to act if nothing is wrong and they string the other person along and say things like “call me” or “we should get “together sometime”…but then when the other party makes an attempt to get together…the person reaching out is simply ignored. Texts go unanswered, phone messages and emails never get returned, etc. In the rest of the free world we have a phrase for this…it’s called “Being Two Faced” and it’s not polite and it’s a typical Northwest Rude behavior number one.
The “Good luck with that” passive aggressive weenie:
This trait is one that comes from the smug, “I’m better than you” Northwesterner. This kind of phrase is often uttered when a person expresses an opinion that is in direct conflict with the “Good luck with that” person and the Good luck Weenie “just doesn’t have time” to argue their point with such a dolt. Never mind the fact that there might be something of value learned by both parties…it’s just easier to wish the other person well and say “good luck with that”. Such a passive aggressive wuss move. If I don’t like what you are saying I certainly won’t wish you well with your idea when I don’t agree with it.
The “Yes” man or woman that doesn’t follow through:
This is about as limp wristed and weak as you can get when it comes to being passive. These people will tell you whatever you want to hear and say yes to most anything you ask or invite them to just so they don’t have to truly interact with you and actually make any sort of real commitment. This is a close relative of the Two-Faced Northwesterner. Sure, they sound sincere but when the time has come to do whatever the Yes man or woman said they would do, they always find some external excuse they can’t possibly have any control over that somehow has enough control over them or is a lame excuse they fabricate to prevent them from actually following through….and they often don’t bother to even call you to let you now they are not coming. They just don’t show up, but when questioned, they then will give you some stupid reason for not following through. Example, oh yes! I really wanted to play Russian Roulette with you last week and I had planned on coming over because it truly sounds fun but I heard that bullets were a little too expensive and I didn’t want to be a burden. You might even get the cou-de-gra if they add to that statement something like the following…we went to the fair that day, you should have come…but they never invited you. Sometimes you just find out by chance they did something else instead. Very passive aggressiveness.
I know you are thinking, if someone is doing these things could a perceptive person “get a clue” and “take a hint”…Sure, but these kinds of actions are coupled with the “Hey, we should get together sometime” speeches.
It’s like being told….’Come join us but we really don’t want you here but we are two passive and weak to tell you to your face or we know it’s not right to not want you here so we will just pretend and make you miserable until you leave”.
Again, these are some observations of the typical Pacific Northwesterner’s social skill set that could use some updating and repair. If you really don’t want to be interacting with someone, make the cut and stop interacting with them and don’t keep asking them to interact only to shun them every chance you get. I’ve even seen this in organized social groups. …Come one come all…get involved….well, not you, you aren’t what we really want…same socially retarded behavior.
It’s a little like dating. I once dated a girl that I haven’t spoken to since the relationship ended and she dropped me from facebook before I had taken the time to do the same. I respected her for that. There isn’t a moth to a flame relationship there and I know where I stand with her. Our friendships should be the same.
Rowland Ramble - 
Born and raised in Washington state and couldn’t agree more. PNW people are fucking douche bags generally speaking. I’ve met some really great people out here, but as a rule I’d say most of us are complete cock wipes in one way or another. The attitude seems to be “I’m from the north west. That makes me better than you, you should worship the ground I walk on”. It seems as if over the last few years Washington has kind of turned into the “It state”, and I can’t stand it because it only inflates the egos of the ass wipes living here.
west coast liberals are very naive. they are “useful idiots”. they preach and enforce political correctness. if they got their wish, and usa became communist, the naive liberals would be the 1st to be executed.
You’ve nailed it! I’ve spent over 20 years in Washington, and keep my social expectations very low. Often, they don’t answer you. They are flaky. If you were not raised in the Northwest, they will only extend themselves so far. You will never be part of their perceived in group.
One thing that drives me up the wall is their total lack of how to carry on a conversation. You can tell them something very interesting, and they will either ignore what you just said, with glazed over eyes, or nod with a quick answer, and then go right back to talking all about their topics. They don’t understand how to ask questions to draw out the other person. And forget about expecting any empathy or mirroring of your feelings. Not a clue!
Couldn’t agree more with everyone. PNW are clueless and exceeding rude. I have only been here for 4 years and I am just now figuring it out. I am coal country in WV and I have never felt more discriminated against, since I moved here.
Couldn’t agree with this more. People here in the PNW are quite shitty.
I’ve never encountered so many spineless, passive-aggressive, narcissists in one place.
The culture is incredibly toxic, especially if you’re not white. You might not think it, especially with all of the PC bullshit around here, but the racism is extremely refined.
I have never been treated as horribly as I have been here in the PNW.
Fortunately, I plan on leaving so fuck all of you ‘PNW natives’ with your self-inflated egos. There is nothing any of you have to offer that anyone can’t get better anywhere else.
This is all very accurate. It’s a really sad and creepy culture. I’ve been here over 20 years unfortunately, and still don’t understand what’s behind the spiteful, nasty attitude that most people have. It seems there’s a major narcissism problem among other things.
I’ll also add that almost no job is done correctly here. Whether it’s doctors, dentists, car repairmen, or construction companies, most people can’t get though a job they were hired to do without completely botching it. It’s shockingly consistent that relatively simple tasks are bungled beyond belief. You can’t help but assume this is a sign of low intelligence, but I think narcissism would also explain this issue.
I think a lot of people here are actually decent if you actually get to talk to them (though there are a lot of transplants). But people act kind of like bumps on a log socially, in general, and don’t seem to put much energy into convos or help carry them forward. I think it’s mainly due to a lack of interest in spending effort on something that won’t materialize into anything, which is reasonable, but it’s kind of selfish to be short and never give socially. In other places it’s considered “good manners” to pay it forward a bit socially.
The few traits that annoy me the most about this area (specifically Seattle area) is the elite/smug types, many of whom are probably not from here. They are very proud of themselves and their money (e.g. from tech jobs or real estate). It’s a “hot” place to be, so that further fuels the smugness.
Other traits that I recognize in locals is a “know-it-all” ness, where they over-intellectualize and articulate everything. It just seems to be a lot of wasted energy. Also, there seems to be a suppression of “natural” human tendencies (e.g. physical appearance/attraction), and an attempt to out-logic it, but it just seems insecure and foolish in my opinion. I think this goes along with a low degree of humility here in general.
I think there is also an insularism that goes along with the smugness, which I did not experience as much in other states in the US. Maybe this is because it’s such a stimulating area in the PNW in terms of nature/activities/food, so there’s not enough boredom to lead to consideration of other places.
Anyway, I think it’s a pretty nice place, and most people are fine for the most part. I even had a really great experience in small-town Oregon. However, I just find the passiveness and faux-laid-backedness (act laid back on the surface, but mentally activated internally) pretty annoying, so planning to leave here soon to be back around more “normal” people again.